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A Personal Post for r/BodyAcceptance, for a change :)
**UPDATE 12/9: I DO still check this post. I welcome any and all questions and discussions. I do follow the rules for this subforum, so if you came here with the intention of trolling and trying to force your views upon myself and the rest of this community, turn back now - it won't do any good.** [Inspired by this post,](http://www.reddit.com/r/BodyAcceptance/comments/l14fq/why_arent_there_more_personal_posts_in/) I have decided to post my story. It's a story of body acceptance, as well as pushing for others to accept me. Here are some additional pictures of me, for your viewing pleasure: [Trying to be sexy. Might be NSFW, cleavage?](http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/318343_10150338812456067_800891066_7958573_886055020_n.jpg) -- [Halloween 2011](http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/315683_10150374458856067_800891066_8149691_2119883407_n.jpg) -- [Flirty after a night out!](http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/392059_10150423065716067_800891066_8354423_482947197_n.jpg) -- [At work!](http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/382577_10150430503946067_800891066_8373868_2019270457_n.jpg) -- [Bought a new dress](http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/167216_10150095166966067_800891066_6094762_5358600_n.jpg) -- [Playing my guitar.](http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/381143_10150416720541067_800891066_8333334_1762308764_n.jpg) With the exception of Flirty and Halloween, these images are of me with no makeup. **EDIT: Please feel free to comment with any questions you may have for me. I am happy to answer them. Reddit is being painfully slow tonight, so there may be a long lag between comments.** **EDIT 2: Downvotes? Really? I challenge anyone who thinks they should downvote this to comment as to why they did so. Let's start a discussion, shall we?** [I'm Miz.](http://hphotos-sjc1.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/184669_10150107758281067_800891066_6245179_2680131_n.jpg) I'm 28 years young and am a curvy 300 pounds of well-educated and travelled woman. I grew up in a small town, just south of Nashville, the first born of three children. Out of the three of us, I am the only one who is obese. I've had the opportunity of visiting Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, St. Thomas USVI, San Juan, and Nassau, Bahamas. I've had the opportunity of living in Tennessee, South Carolina, Alabama and California. I currently work as an IT Help Desk Specialist for a Medicare company. I was always a large child. From the womb I weighed 7lbs 6oz, but I grew quickly - since I was the first born, my parents most likely didn't understand how things worked. Every time I cried, they stuck a bottle in my mouth. I was already larger than the other children once I started elementary school, and I was given the nickname "Ms. Piggy." As a child, who fully understands that she's different even at 7 or 8 years old, that can be pretty harsh and painful. Bullying got pretty harsh in Jr. High and High School. I was already a size 20 by the 9th grade. I never dated. I was pushed in the hallways. I had things knocked out of my hands -- all because I was different. I had the typical crushes, but all I faced was rejection. One time, someone was dared to ask me out on a date but then laughed in my face when they told me it would never happen. All because I was larger than they were. I only had a handful of friends and refused to ride the bus in the mornings due to constant ridicule. I worked hard to drop some weight, but it wasn't enough. By my senior year, I was a 22/24, and nowhere near what most people wanted girls to be at 17 years old. I ultimately went to prom by myself. Needless to say, I didn't stay long. My entire life, my parents and maternal grandmother tried to help me lose the weight, but they went about it the wrong way. They wanted to send me to fat camp and put me on medication. I refused. I didn't feel that forcing me to do something drastic like that was the right way to correct a problem I had with my own self-image... And I was right. After high school, I decided to work. I took a retail job and worked for a full year. During that year, I shed 100 pounds through a combination of medication, being on my feet all day and playing Dance Dance Revolution at the local arcade. (This game is so hard to find nowadays around here. The last time I really played it was 2004.) I was a size 16/18, and I felt great. Then I lost my job. I took another in a call center, and without the constant movement, the weight slowly crept back on. The hours I worked kept me from going to the gym at a reasonable hour. I wasn't able to go to the arcade as often because I was also living on my own at that time. Things had changed so drastically in a short period of time that I was unable to keep up with my needs regarding the way my body handles caloric intake. By the end of 2006, I was a size 26/28, at 330 pounds, and holding steady. Regardless of my past, as an adult I wasn't having any issues regarding a love life, if you look at the fact that I had been engaged and also had luck getting dates. My [ex fiancee](http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/35371_416173816066_800891066_4457792_633558_n.jpg) was also a larger man, but that didn't bother me. I loved him for who he was, and he did the same for me. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to last and we eventually split apart... I returned to Nashville to start over and try to live life as a single girl for a while, but I eventually started missing the companionship I had with my ex fiancee and I started dating... The dating scene was pretty rough. As a plus-size woman in today's world, men are notoriously fickle. I was starting to be ignored again. No one would strike up a conversation with me. I would try to strike one up with someone else, and after about 10 minutes the conversation would just die out. Dates were tedious and often ended in either me leaving because I wasn't happy with how the date went, or me leaving because the guy got too touchy-feely... Don't get me wrong, I don't HATE sex. I just don't want to do it on the first date. The failed dates, coupled with all the negative media regarding overweight and obese women in our country, I was starting to feel hopeless... After a spat of failed dates, I took to facebook to vent and found an old friend/crush I had not spoken to in almost 10 years. We instantly struck a conversation and it lasted for hours. We've talked every day since then. One day I asked him whether or not he was seeing anyone. He said he wasn't, and I asked whether he wanted to try dating me. I was hoping he'd say yes, but he told me he couldn't give his heart to me. I was crushed almost immediately. I couldn't help but think that it was my body image that was keeping him from wanting to be with me. A few weeks passed, and we got to the point in our friendship where we both admitted that we were both sexually frustrated. A FWB type relationship started. He obviously liked it, so after a few "dates" I asked him what he felt about moving further. He said he still couldn't see himself dating a "full-figured woman," and my response was, "If you can get aroused enough to sleep with me, why can't you see yourself taking the next step and wanting to be more than just a booty call?" He couldn't answer, and I think it made him realize how shallow he had been. He told me about a woman that he works with, whom he had been crushing hard for but was too busy with another man for him to get noticed. That's when I told him that he should stop looking for someone who doesn't want him and try to open his mind to the options he has available to him, that he shouldn't discriminate because someone isn't that "perfect" woman. What is perfect, anyway? *Perfect is how we see ourselves, how we present ourselves to others and make that first impression. Perfect is how we are at present, and how we are in the future and past. It is relative; and no matter what anyone says or does,* **perfect is you... And sometimes perfect is right in front of you.** A few weeks passed and he called me. He asked me out on a date, and this time it wasn't just for a booty call. He told me I'm beautiful. **TL;DR: You can find love at any size. You just have to assert yourself and tell him/her that you are perfect the way you are.** more